Wednesday, December 09, 2009

An old poem

I wrote this poem almost 5 years ago, when Eric and I had been dating for about 6 weeks. He was so different from anyone I had dated before, and one night he asked me, "Why me?" This was my attempt at a response.

I sure do love this guy.

Why You

I said I never thought I was
The kind of girl who
Liked that sort of thing,
But maybe that’s because I never tried.
Or maybe it’s because
Of how I feel,
And that just makes it better.

I’ve always worked so hard to play
It safe and stay protected and
So far it’s been just fine.
And yet I see I’m stepping out
And taking risks
To let you in.
Why you, why now?

I think it started out the same as
Any other time
I mean, why should I expect
Anything different, since
They’ve always been the same.
But you weren’t like them
And I noticed.

You treated me as though
What I felt actually mattered
And you looked at me
When you talked to me,
Like you really cared what I thought.
And that was different so
I opened up, just a bit.

And now you wonder why I’d change
The way it’s always been
But I just wonder why I ever
Thought I had it right.
And yet I know that I was scared
Of finding out
That’s all there was.

So while it’s true I find you very
Smart and hot and sexy
And all those other ideal traits like
Funny and honest and kind
That’s not what changed my mind.
That’s not what weakened my walls and
Helped me trust you.

Really I’d say it’s the way
I feel with you, and yes,
I feel happy, but more than that
I feel safe and adored and protected and
That’s really what makes me smile
Because with you I’ve had to be real and
I like that.


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